Kamis, 29 Mei 2014

What am I like according to my birth chart?

Q. Sun: Libra
Aries
Moon

(that's the order it was according to my birth chart)
Ok fine.

18th october, 1994

Gorgan, iran

A. Sun
Libra
You are oh-so-elegant and tasteful to the point of incurring nausea from loved ones. You are also bipolar as hell and can't make a decision on your own. You usually consult your therapist or TV Guide. Libras are trendy and malleable folks. They are funny because they will glom onto something they hated before if it suddenly becomes fashionable. Velour is not entirely lost upon these people. Libras eat a lot of ethnic food from cultures they don't understand. They single-handedly started the cappucino movement. Ask them why, and they will claim something unintelligible about solidarity. You constantly worry about what other people think. If you really paid any attention, maybe people would like you more. Libras use quotes from David Mamet plays to describe philosophical concepts. Then they have those concepts engraved upon nice little wallet cards. The Libran interest in current events ends with the J. Crew catalog. They don't eat fast food or have any clue where their trash goes. They have other people tie their expensive shoes. Only two Libras have ever been found in thrift stores. All of their bell-bottoms were color-coordinated to match their lamé turtlenecks. Libras are always on the cutting edge of what the rest of us think is absolute pretentious bulls**t. They have huge collections of CDs they've never even listened to. Libras give to designer charities. Hollywood is full of Libras. You are the reason butterfly hairpins and parachute pants have made a comeback. Next on the list is those big jam shorts. You probably never threw out your old pair. Hang on to your Winger t-shirt too. Get a Libra as drunk as possible and he or she will still be able to explain the difference between café latté and café au lait. This is peculiar as the rest of us know that there is no difference at all.

Moon
Aries
Aries have ramlike eyebrows and smug expressions. They should not be quite so smug because they are constantly clunking themselves in the skull. Cat Stevens' "Hard Headed Woman" was probably an Aries. Aries rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don't discuss it. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses. Aries folks love Pisceans because Pisces people make them feel well-grounded. Aries love to laugh at the funny moon-people who suck their thumbs at age 35. Aries use guns to describe philosophical concepts. Whether you live in a palatial estate or a cardboard tepee, you will insist until death that it is exactly what you always wanted. Most Aries were concrete parking bumpers in at least two of their past lives. Aries are never born. They skip gaily from their mothers' wombs. This may even involve rollerblades. The Aries makes life decisions as a toddler. Aries marry several times for funnies but never divorce. Their spouses have many freak accidents resulting in death or crippling injury. Being infallible, God is probably an Aries. This would make Satan an Aquarius. Aries always hold management positions. If one is assigned to clean toilets, he will form a one-man union. Then he will go and picket in the parking lot. All of you think you're Lech Walesa. People run away when an Aries comes around. They know that if they do not, the Aries will set them on fire. Aries hate listening to Scorpios talk because they take pride in being even more self-centered. In fact, much to the Scorpios' dismay, you are the biggest pricks in the zodiac. Your rams' horns are in everyone else's asses.


What makes a person look wealthy and classy?
Q. I'm such a frumpy dork. I am 32, married mother of one. I teach a room full of 12-24 months toddlers M-F and am housewife/mom during all my moments "off duty". So, I'm wondering...is it possible for me to change the way I look and and make it believable? I normally wear a t-shirt + knee length shorts + sneakers to school. At home I'm still wearing the knee length shorts + flip flops and a nicer top. I probably change 40-60 diapers a day, then come home and clean house/cook/lounge. What is most important when you see someone who has a classy trendy look? Shoes, hair or clothing? I'm a motherly size 8-10 right now. Where should I shop, what name brands are cool for my age group what sort of shoes should I be wearing? I have mid-back length hair, dark brown w/ small amount of greys(especially on top)...should I cut it, highlight it? I just want to be accepted and respected. Can you help?

A. look at some fashion magazines and see what kind of look you prefer and then look at the stores they listed in the magazine. for now, here are some stores: cleo, reitmans, laura, fashion max, smart set





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